


In the Bedroom Down the Hall

by lokithegodofsass



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: One Shot, Other, POV First Person, POV Second Person, also you can rip musician!connor out of my cold dead hands, closer to book canon than musical canon, hence the miguel cameo, jesus christ josie learn how to organize your tags, not really canon lmao, this fic is really weird and vague but that’s ok right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29498706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokithegodofsass/pseuds/lokithegodofsass
Summary: “You don’t understand why it was such a big deal, for you see nothing there. You wish you could see what I saw.”(post book/musical/whatever canon)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	In the Bedroom Down the Hall

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title:
> 
> my creative writing teacher: write in the second person  
> me: how vague can i make this deh fanfic so no one catches on when i read it aloud to the class
> 
> also stream hi by alex boniello! this fic has big “if i died” vibes<3

You spend all afternoon in my room. My favorite blanket pulled over your shoulders as you tap away on your phone, unsure of what to do first.

You flip through my old sketchbook. Trace your finger over the drawings until they smudge and sprinkle little lead fingerprints on the page’s corners. You can almost picture me barging in, door slamming into the wall behind me as I yell at you for snooping through my stuff. You don’t understand why it’s such a big deal, for you see nothing there. You wish you could see what I saw.

You pick up my guitar. Strum gently, afraid that the strings will crumple into dust. You sing my favorite song from when I was twelve. Your voice cracks but the tears remain unshed. You’ll never know my favorite song at seventeen. For a moment, you want to throw the guitar at the wall.

Your eye catches my half-empty pill bottle. You hate that they didn’t work.

You kick the sketchbook onto the ground and a picture falls out. You don’t recognize him, with his lips pressed against my cheek. You don’t recognize me, grinning so hard with hearts in my eyes. You pocket the picture. You’re not sure if you want to find him or not. You can’t allow them to find him.

Do you know I never wanted to leave you? That catching you bite back a laugh at a biting comment I made under my breath filled me with a sense of pride? That I wished more than anything that you could see the same version of me that he saw and not the monster that burned too bright, too fast, that they saw? Do you?

**Author's Note:**

> i dont remember how to embed links bc i havent used ao3 in 8 million years but you can find me on twitter @kafekaiana and on tumblr at mistofftheleaves! :)


End file.
